The Big C

Well, no, I'm not referring to Cancer or Commitment though they are Big C's too! What I'm talking about is COMMUNICATION !!!

You know, I have more than 400 friends on Orkut. (Well if you've lived in two countries, gone to two schools, a junior college and a professional college, you end up knowing those many people! Anyway that's not the point here, so shush! :-P) And if seventy percent of these people have been in relationships (you know, the boy-girl-in-love types) that didn't work out, at least fifty percent of them feel they ended because they "didn't communicate at the right time". (How do I know this? I didn't conduct a survey; there's a section in the profile called "From your past relationships you learnt:". I know from that. See, Orkutting can be useful too! ;-))

There are reports of how the divorce rate in India, especially in metros, is increasing at alarming rates. Most couples blame it on miscommunication.

I was reading this article in India Today on teenage suicides. Apparently 16 teenagers commit suicide every day in India and 82% of them say they're under stress because their parents talk to them only about their marks and career, while they want to talk to parents about themselves.

Until a few years ago, I always thought that it isn't necessary to communicate your feelings to your friends and family. Since they've been such an important part of your life for so long, they'll understand what you feel. But the past few months have made me realize that this is far from true. It is often the people we're closest to, who need to know how much we care about them. And I'm not just including romantic relationships here; even our parents and friends come in this bracket.

All through my school and college, I've had so many friends, some who I thought would last a lifetime. But more often than not, we drifted apart in due course of time. And I often blamed my pals for what happened. It was always something they did or something they said that strained relations. Until I realized that since I was the common factor in all those disagreements, surely something would be wrong with me too!

My sister, though, is very good at this communication thing. Since she stays away from home, all the sms-es she sends my mom and me are laced with "Love you" and "Miss you" and what not. If we don't talk to her for more than 24 hours, she gets restless. And one thing she keeps telling us is that she doesn't want us to get used to living without her, ever! At face value, all this seems a tad too sentimental. I used to always think- What the hell, she's away from home to study. You can't afford to be so emotional about silly issues. But the fact is, she doesn't say this coz she is miserable without us. She's managing fine enough. But these are just ways to tell your people what they mean to you. And going by how much my mom loves those sms-es, I can safely vouch for it's success.

We people get so bogged down by the rigmarole of life that we often give our family last priority. And while I agree with the philosophy that "paisa hai toh jahan hai", we should not forget what we're losing out on, in the process. Which is where the second aspect comes into picture- communication at the right time! You know how these couples claim that one of the golden rules of a successful marriage is never to sleep over a fight. I think this is one practice everyone should follow. In fact, don't even wait for a fight. Prevention is better than cure here. And while I'm not saying that you should scoot off to send balloons/chocolates/gifts/flowers to your loved ones every single day, it always pays to take some time off over the weekend to call up or email your pals. Write crap, but write. Like a few days ago, a friend from the US sent me a silly email about why I should be thankful I got a reject from Georgia Tech as most people in Gatech are gay! Well don't ask me what that means, this guy is a little loony! (Sorry Soumya! :-)) But I was laughing for ten minutes after that! See how simple it was?!

So, all I'm saying is- It's important to not take your family and friends for granted. And while it may seem trivial to some, taking time out to involve your people in the happenings of your life really goes a long way in building trust and love in a relationship. If someone like me can learn to do it, it must be child's play for sure!

And since this has been a rather serious article, here's a joke to lighten the mood -

When God made the first Negro, what did he say?
Oh shit! Yeh toh jal gaya !! :-D:-D
(I don't know why, but I love this joke! Just the idea of God saying it is h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s, no offence to Black people, I love you guys! Go Obama !! :-D)