Can't Fight Time..

दिलों में तुम अपनी बेताबियाँ लेके चल रहे हो तो जिंदा हो तुम

नज़र में ख्वाबों की बिजलियाँ लेके चल रहे हो तो जिंदा हो तुम

बेताबी is good- it just means that you stand to lose something. It means that something is important enough that its absence affects you in some way. Having said that, I think as you grow older, you also realize that patience is seriously a virtue- there is a right place and a right time for things to happen and sometimes, you need to just trust that the process will fall in place when it has to. Unfortunately, I think I can be a real kid when it comes to this- I have always hated the dark. I like to know where things stand. In terms of my own life, I like to map out my career and life goals- at least make a tentative plan of action for how things should be. In terms of others, my actions more than compensate for my lack in being articulate about my thoughts and feelings. If I trust you and like you and make you a part of my inner circle, then you will know it through my actions- simple and straightforward. I hate those devious games people play in order to control someone’s mind and feelings. And I hate people who can never take a stand- especially when their decisions are interlinked to someone else. I guess it is this love for clarity and organization that helps me like my job as a project scheduler. But being in scheduling also teaches you that almost nothing is ever supposed to go as per plan.. :P The ultimate purpose of curveballs is to show up when you least expect them so that you can invest time and energy in figuring out how to dodge them. Things can never be as clear as black and white. Goals need time to pan out, people need time to take decisions- and the smart person knows how to accept that as a fact.

The bigger the investment, the better the returns. The little caveat in this philosophy, though, is- how does one know what is worth giving that time to? Scientists invest years in a particular project hoping against hope that their time and effort will not go in vain. People devote half their lifetimes to a relationship because they want it last till eternity. Till death do us part and all that.. But some times, things just don’t work out. People break up. Experiments fail. But the circle of life dictates that you take these setbacks in your stride, pick up the pieces and restart all over again. This is fine too- some times a clean slate is all you need. But starting from the bottom of the ladder also means that you need a lot more patience and perseverance to climb to where you were before and go beyond that. And god forbid, you reach the open mouth of a snake again! This game can get really frustrating!

The poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling is one of my all time favorites. There was a time I used to read this out to myself nearly every day. This is my favorite verse –

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools..

Life is full of so many layers- you figure out how to unravel one of them and before you know it, another has taken it’s place. I’m not complaining- the fun is in fitting together the pieces of this puzzle.. But sometimes, just on one of those days, you wish someone would just show you how the final picture is supposed to look like! :)


P.S. 1. - Blogging in the middle of the work day?! - Not good! But it's Friday! :)
P.S. 2. - Typing out that initial verse in Hindi was super-fun!